Gateway Drug of Entitlement
This photo of the child screaming for a toy seems normal to all of us. Replace this child with an adult, now imagine the situation, does it seem normal? We have talked about how narratives (link) are just a feeble attempt to make sense of the randomness which occurs around us. However, a question arises what if our perspective is skewed, what if the things which seem grey to us are black and white and vice versa. The lack of judgement is the biggest fear for any conscious being and some characteristics which we inculcate during our mental growth can skew our perspective. One of them is the sense of entitlement.
Transformation Matrix
In maths, linear algebra to be specific there is a concept of transformation matrix. Imagine you are in a cubical room, all the lines being straight and balanced as all the things should be. Now you are made to wear a spectacle which somehow makes all the line slant a little, the walls which were perpendicular to each other are now at some acute angle. The room might seem distorted, unnatural and most importantly tampered. But sooner or later you will have a realisation that “Ahh! I was wearing a specs all along.” This is a transformation matrix in a nutshell ( Thank you for attending my Maths 101 lecture ).
Physical matrices are very easy to spot and detect but these mental matrices are very difficult to spot. Our attraction towards the golden ratio, mental disorders, dark desires, taboo all these are some way or the other highlighting our mental matrices which make our judgement slightly erroneous.
Ever heard about Schizophrenia, I once watched an interview of a schizophrenic diagnosed women. The mental matrices which yield these hallucinations in her life was quite disturbing to hear but having a skewed view of the world not knowing what is true ( a 4-year-old hallucinating, no knowledge of her own, believing that that’s how the world exist ) it’s wonderful and disturbing at the same time. Even after knowing about the deviations it is really difficult to keep a constant realisation of those deviations into account.
Skewness and deviations are sometimes very difficult to spot and these subtle differences can lead to catastrophic outcomes (heard about butterfly effect). A decision tree which whose branches shift due to slight error in the judgement and now you are in a completely different path than you expected to be.
Narcissism Epidemic
Narcissism ( selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type. ) (source: Google), the word sounds very normal to us. Being self-obsessed, self-absorbed. According to me, narcissism is a figure of speech which we use in our narratives to make them sound like a billion-dollar Hollywood movie. The whole world is against me, I have to face so much adversity, I have reached here by working against all odds, no matter the intensity of struggles we have faced in life we always say these lines. Poor or rich, white or black, SC/ST or general these lines are very common.
Making analogies to the centre of the solar system is flawed in every sense possible, but we do things which makes us comfortable. You will prefer to like 5 more shit posts on Instagram than read this poorly framed blog about entitlement because firstly, you might feel mocked and secondly it’s poorly framed by an author who has no literary background and is writing his second blog. Weaving narratives which make us feel comfortable is something which we do involuntarily.
Narcissus was a hunter in Greek mythology who was popular for his beauty. Due to a series of events he went to a pool and gazed his reflection. Admired by his beauty he gazed into that pool for hours and eventually died in that pool leading to the emergence of a flower which is also named after him in that pool. This is a very hastily summarized version of the story of narcissus. If I heard this story 5 years ago I would have laughed at it and questioned its legitimacy but now this story seems highly probable. Somewhere, deep down we all romanticise ourselves, trying to replace self-introspection with that pool where more we think about ourselves the more admiration we attain in our own eyes.
Narcissism epidemic is a phrase which I came across a while back. It’s about how narcissistic traits are growing amongst the masses. Being surrounded by a population which is itself flawed, the wrong being the common and the right being uncommon. I think that narcissism is calamity in disguise, a situation where you are taught not to be right but to feel right. Minor inconveniences not being tolerated and uprisings everywhere. Political correctness, gender pronoun, cultural appropriations these terms are gaining tractions for wrong reasons. Disagreement being more common than the tendency to agree, victim-games and calling out things as offensive are taking over dialogue and discussion. Third-World countries like India do need self-esteem movements and feminist movements because here the affected can’t speak, but first-world countries like the USA are have made the definition of oppression more and more lenient and broad. Somehow the inculcation of self-esteem has turned into inflation of ego. Self-love and self-care which was something very necessary has now been replaced with self-absorption and self-admiration. We either victimize ourselves or glorify ourselves. If this is not a calamity then I guess we are no better than our previous generations who used to consider depression a hoax and gender-equality a curse for society.
Dear Diary,
Till now whatever I have written was the sources speaking, now I would like to give you an insight into what I want to convey. One thing which always resonated with me while reading Mark Manson’s books was that we always want to give ourselves temporary highs. We say, do or act on particular things in such a way that it gives us a sense of self-righteousness. A sneak peek into my narrative and you will find one thing you will find very evident is that I am unsure about my judgements. No matter how less entitled or self-absorbed we think we are, situations will always highlight that it’s the other way around. Keeping the uncertainty aside ask a question to yourself, are you drugged? We sometimes fail to realise that bailing out on things or not taking responsibility is a gateway drug which we are consuming, a drug of ignorance. It is possible to come with an algorithm which solves your every life problem, we excel at designing algorithms. Question is not about solving problems but the nature of problems. Staying entitled isn’t about an end to all your problems but it’s more about having a newer set of problems whose solution will result in nothing more than narcissism.
Since we are talking about entitlement finally, let’s define what is entitlement. Whenever you face a problem and you think that it’s not your job to solve it, it is called entitlement. Eg, I don’t deserve these marks (entitled about outcomes), it’s not my job to fix it (entitled about responsibility). Entitlement is not only about having sugar daddies, acting like a spoilt brat or acting childishly stubborn but it is about expectations regarding things we haven’t worked hard for. Having a sense of achievement or aspiration not proportional to the input we have given is distancing ourselves from reality. We are making our perspectives skewed, as said earlier “biggest fear of a conscious being is to have a flawed judgement.” We need to understand that no matter how we approach our problems, not taking responsibilities will make you feel good at first but pathetic in end.
Entitlement is a gateway to ignorance, lack of self-control, narcissism, lower EQ. It is what is responsible for the craving of dopamine, oxytocin which makes us feel good in the beginning, eventually turning us into slaves. I understand that we never want to prove ourselves wrong but sometimes it’s a necessity. The ignorance can lead to paths we never wished to ever consider. I know this narrative might sound very biblical but we need to get rid of this emotional censoring. We need to be emotionally naked to ourselves and familiarize with as many corners as we can. Bailing out on things is an option which shadows us from ourselves, think about it….
